Self Destruct
by miss.licorice
Summary: They were fabulous disasters, metaphors for self-destruction, walking-talking contradictions and tragedy personified. LelouchxKallen ONESHOT. Rated M for mature themes, violence and language.


A/N: There seems to be a lack of Kalulu fics in the archive right now so I decided to write one.

Just a background for this oneshot. I wrote this story with punk rock icon Sid Vicious and his lady love Nancy Spungen in mind. Obviously, it won't be pretty considering how anarchistic both are but I love them all the same. I also took out some lines from the Sid and Nancy movie and a couple of songs related to the two. References are below. Characters are also OOC and there are pretty sensitive issues littered throughout, just saying though for those who might get offended.

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Self-Destruct

They met at an hour close to midnight, just when the blue collared workers were dimming the fluorescent lamps overhead, enshrouding the train station in a dim white glow. People were passing by, getting on and off of trains and walking back and forth between the platforms, trying to catch a midnight ride to whatever destination they had in mind or planning to go back to the safety of their homes.

Bulky businessmen were carrying their equally bulky suitcases, talking in hushed tones over their phones or merely looking at their wristwatches. Violin players and self proclaimed guitar protégés were collecting pennies and notes from the cases of their instruments, packing away a day's worth of earnings. Leaning on the chipped walls, peroxide prostitutes were _tap tap tapping_ their feet on the ground, flipping hair while licking lips, trying to pick out invisible lint from fishnet stockings and awaiting for paying customers for the night.

She was a beauty, a tramp and a thief—not a peroxide princess but rather a fiery vixen with shoulder length strawberry colored hair. She had baby bottle blue eyes, the kind of blue that you would see beneath the frozen surface of a lake, and MAC red lips the color of freshly picked poison apples. He on the other hand was a thin slice of a teenager, with an unruly mop of black hair, paper white skin and dimmed royal purple eyes. He wore black leather like a second skin, donning leather pants and a leather jacket that clung tightly to his bones. His form was hunched against the brown of a wooden bench, situated just to the right of the railroad tracks, while his fingers were bringing forth cancer to his lips, in the form of nicotine flavored sticks and cigarette smelling smoke. That was when she decided that he was hers to take.

She sauntered over to him, with curvaceous hips popping and locking and combat boots clicking against the linoleum floor. She was sucking on an orange flavored lollipop as she skillfully straddled his lap, like a little girl riding her pony, and unabashedly offered a generous view of the slope of her breasts.

"What's up, Sailor?" Her voice came in a breathy whisper, dripping with a pinch of honey and a sliver of venom.

She introduced herself as Kallen. He introduced himself as Lelouch. At that moment, when blue met purple, they stupidly fell in love without knowing that they would never be given the chance to fall out of it.

On lonely winter days when there was nothing left to do, he would visit her in the club where she worked in. She would dress to the nines for him, telling him to wait in one of the shady rooms while she put on her favorite pretty pair of lacy pink underwear, a monthsary present from him. She would top it with a leopard printed dress, a Nazi belt and cheap jewelry that she bought from the streets. The red head would dance for him, the type of exotic dance where clothes came off and made her look like a gypsy of old. He thought that she was beautiful as she performed, like an angel floating in a cloud when in fact she was sidling up to a pole.

"_I would kill myself as soon as the first wrinkle appears.(1)" _She always did tell him. "I'm not afraid to die. But I'm afraid to dry."

When they made love, they made it sweet and spicy all at once, combining pleasure and pain, mixing sweet thrusts with painful tugs. Lelouch treated Kallen like a goddess, like his own personal Jesus, a savior and saint who would whisper sweet promises of release into the hollow of his ear. He would explore every part of her body, inching her skin with kisses until he finally came down to her feet. Her toes were small and pretty, with nails that were dyed a funeral black, and he would flick his tongue over every one of them and say "I don't mind being a dog for you."

He never did drugs before he met her, no matter how much of a bad-ass he looked like on the outside. But when he got his first taste of Refrain—when the liquid ran needle deep in his skin—he knew he was addicted. Lelouch and Kallen would try to raise the money, what they inadvertently dubbed as their "junkie treasury," no matter what the cost. He would mug people on the streets, bringing out a Swiss knife as a weapon of threat. She on the other hand would dance for strangers, offering them a night of buckling hips and shuddered moans.

They craved the high that intoxication brought—the buzzing sound pounding loud in their ears, the white lights that would dance across their rolling eyes and that alternate feeling of cold and warmth that would assault their senses. They had a needle fixation and together, they fell _crashing to the earth as they reached for the moon.(2)_

That was when everything went haywire, when their world finally exploded, when they started to drift between lucidity and unconscious highs. When they couldn't get money on their hands in order to acquire the illegal substance, they would then beat each other up, the heels of her boots digging into the arched spine of his back and his fist colliding with the underside of her mouth, just enough to create a bloody split lip.

"You're beautiful." Lelouch would murmur to the base of her neck, inhaling that copper scent as he appraised the blue of her eyes and how it perfectly complemented the blue of her bruises. "You look like a fucked up Barbie doll lying in a ditch."

"_I'll never look like Barbie. Barbie doesn't have bruises."(3)_

Then came the nights when Kallen couldn't sleep, when nightmares of green haired monsters became too much to bear. She would scream "I don't want to live this life anymore!" as she pounded onto his skin, beating his chest with glass-infused fists in time with the rhythm of his heart. He would hold her all night, rocking his beautiful baby in his arms, whispering "it's okay, it's okay, it's okay" as she screamed that "it's not, it's not, it's not."

She would always ask him _"If I asked you to kill me, would you?(4)" _That was when he first felt a sliver of fear in his chest, realizing how vulnerable and fragile she was despite the strong façade that she has put on for him.

"_I don't know. How would I do it? I couldn't live without ya.(5)"_ He would answer thinking that she was a lost child, so alone, so very desperate to be loved and it was only him whom she looked towards for the feeling to be reciprocated.

She finally cracked days after a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. She tugged at his hands, struggling down the street as they came to the place where they first met. They faced the railroad tracks, wooden planks laid out on the ground, as Kallen broke down with tears in her eyes that were the size of baby worlds, a world where only they can live in. "Fuck this, Lelouch! You promised me! You said we'd be together no matter what happens!"

And in that instant, when her voice echoed against the wind, when light drizzle started falling from the sky, he pulled her towards the tracks where the blaring light of a train assaulted their senses. He pulled her body closer, crashing his chapped lips to her alcohol flavored ones and that's when he realized that what they had couldn't have ended any other way for they were fabulous disasters, metaphors for self-destruction, walking-talking contradictions and tragedy personified.

_End_

References

(1)—taken from an interview of Sid and Nancy

(2)—line from the song "She Never Took No For An Answer"

(3, 4 and 5)—lines taken from the Sid and Nancy movie

A/N: I'd probably get flames for this. For killing two characters at once and for making Kallen a prostitute and Lelouch a violent junkie.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. I welcome flames and most especially constructive criticism to further improve my writing. Please review…o_O


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